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TemperSometimes my temper is so explosive.
My muscles tense up to the point
That I think they’re going to burst.
I clench so tightly
Full of anger
That it just doesn’t seem humanly possible
For me to not pop like a fucking balloon.
I feel this way with nearly all emotions
Not pertaining to anything close to “happiness.”
But especially when I’m feeling threatened
I get this extra destructive feeling
That every ounce of blood in my body regenerates back to my chest
And has the sole purpose of crushing my heart.
It’s as if my body can’t handle any sort of brute manipulation
And yet my mind has this false courage.
This pretext to over compensate for whatever misleading words
Are flung my way.
So not only does my chest weigh me down
But at the same time
My brain sends arrogant feedback to my spine
To stiffen and straighten.
My mind always outweighs my heart.
Later when I’m at a point to calm down
I heave and jerk a
Nine TimesI saw him nine times.
The first time we were both sitting in the room together, getting ready to take the math test that would determine our placement. I was scatterbrained and throwing things around, trying to find the pencils that I had known I would need but had still just tossed in my purse. He was lounging backwards in his chair, looking for all the world as though he didn’t have a single care in the world, including the upcoming test. It annoyed me, that I was frantic and ready to scream, while someone else could be that relaxed.
I tested out of the class.
I don’t know if he did.
The second time I saw him, it was a few months after I arrived on campus. He was the one rushing and frantic this time, running across the square. He was probably late for class, though I had no way of knowing for sure. I was already lost in my own thoughts and ideas, deciding on my major and convincing people that yes, this is what I really want to do with my life. If they weren
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